Short Story

Every single day I say, “I’m going to break up with you.”

Because he’s awful.

We’re in a long-distance relationship as it is, and we only get to see each other once a month.

And my boyfriend has another woman besides me.

When I became his girlfriend, there was already another girl.

He said he’d been with her for a long time. It’s not like I think you have to go with what’s been around the longest in this world, but when I fall for some other guy, I just go straight for him, so I don’t care at all about whether it’s been long or short.

“Why don’t you just hurry up and dump him? There are way better guys out there, you know?”

Hey, you friends who say that—are you saying it knowing that, for me, Takayuki is number one right now?

The usual phone call.

“Because you never even say you love me, do you?!”

“…You can’t tell from the way I act? Would I send a plane ticket to a girl I only see as a friend I don’t even like that way?”

“If it were me, even for a friend I’d at least pay half.”

“Is that how it is? I don’t have that kind of money, so I can at least offer a place to stay, but I can’t do more than that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Are you saying that because I work in the nightlife business?”

“When did I ever say that? It’s not about your job; it’s about how you use your money.”

I work in the nightlife business. Since I quit my daytime job, my schedule hardly ever matches up with office worker Takayuki’s, and we can hardly talk on the phone. Every day it’s just a morning wake-up call and a quick “I’m off” before he goes to work. My workplace closes early, but Takayuki is tired and goes straight to sleep, so I can’t call him after I get off.

The reason I started working in the nightlife business was because I wanted to be with Takayuki even a little more, you know? It’s because I’m thinking I’ll save up money and go over there, you know? I know that in that unfamiliar place, with all the business trips he has, Takayuki mostly has to live on his own, and even so, I’m going because I think that if we’re together he might even break up with Nao-san for me.

I can’t say any of that.

I can’t tell Takayuki the truth at all. That’s because there’s Nao-san, and because I don’t have any confidence in myself.

“Fine, whatever. You’ve got Nao-san, so even if you break up with me you won’t be alone. Let’s break up.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I mean, we can hardly ever talk, and Nao-san goes over there too, right? I hate having it reported to me, and I hate having it kept quiet from me too.”

I exploded and pleaded with him through my tears.

Because.

Because.

I can’t love anyone but Takayuki, you know?!

Takayuki is the only one who really understands me, you know?

“…See? So, let’s break up, okay?”

“At that point I can’t just say, ‘Yeah, okay,’ and I don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

“Because I love you, Yuki.”

“Then break up with Nao-san. If you love me, then break up with her!!”

“I love Nao too, so I can’t just say I’ll break up with her right away.”

“What is that? Maybe you don’t really love either of us at all? If you really loved us, how could you do something like this?”

“To me, Yuki and Nao are…”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re going to say we’re separate, right? Fine, whatever. Goodbye.”

Cutting him off, I hung up my cell.

My phone kept ringing with calls from Takayuki, but I ignored them. Besides, I was about to head to work.

Four days passed after that.

There hasn’t been any contact at all.

When I tell myself that this is for the best, tears start to fall.

I’ve always been told my love is too heavy, and none of my relationships have lasted.

Guys just took my money and stuff like that—it’s always been like that.

So, I’m sure it’ll be the same with Takayuki.

But the more I try to think that way, the more I cry.

…No, that’s not it.

Anyone who’s actually dealt with Takayuki would flat-out say he’s different.

I’ve doubted him plenty of times.

But no matter how calmly I look at him as if I were judging a stranger, he’s different.

…But it’s still a fact that he’s two-timing.

These past four days I’ve been so wrapped up in these thoughts that I’ve been totally spaced out at work.

The only thing on my mind is Takayuki.

Takayuki is what I live for.

I started working in the nightlife business just so I could live near Takayuki’s place.

I can’t live without Takayuki.

As I was about to head out to work, my phone rang with a call from Takayuki.

I don’t care anymore about Nao-san or anybody else.

I love Takayuki.

And I’m sure Takayuki does too.

“Hello?”